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This week, we lost a very dear friend and special resident. While all of our residents are dear to us, Chuck is one we will always hold especially close to our hearts.
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He arrived at the house at the end of April 2025 and was with us for nearly a year. In order to preserve his dignity, I won’t share all the details of the hardship he was living in—but it was among the most difficult I have ever encountered. He had been receiving hospice care in Tullahoma, Tennessee, and his hospice nurse had heard about Heart of Mary House from her father, who was familiar with us from our time at St. Edward. It took some time for Chuck to come to us—not just because of the distance, but also because he had to wait about a week for a room to become available. When a room first opened, he wasn’t ready to leave his camper. But when another room became available, he was ready.
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His hospice team in Tullahoma had reported that Chuck’s prognosis was very grim, and when I first met him, it appeared he only had a few weeks left to live. He was frail and weak. After helping him shower and cutting his hair, we began to see a change—he started to perk up. I was a little unsure how he might respond to the warmth and closeness of our staff and volunteers. We are a very loving community, and for someone who had lived in such isolation, that kind of attention can sometimes feel overwhelming. Of course, we always respect each resident’s autonomy. Their room is their home, and we honor whatever boundaries they choose to set.
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One of the greatest lessons he taught me was how to receive. He could have set firm boundaries and asked to be left alone—which would have been completely understandable, given how he had been living—but he didn’t. Quite the opposite. He was one of the most engaging people I have ever encountered. Truly. He was like a living, breathing, encyclopedia. He could hold conversations with seven or eight different people in a single day, discussing entirely different topics with each one. He was incredibly well-informed and deeply thoughtful.
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Chuck was in his early 60s and suffered from COPD. One remarkable detail about him was that he had been smoking nearly a pack of cigarettes a day before coming to live at Heart of Mary House. Yet from the moment he arrived, he never once asked to smoke and rarely even mentioned it. One day, I overheard his hospice social worker ask if he had been a smoker. He replied, “Yes.” She then asked when he had quit. He said, “The day I came here.” When she asked how he managed to stop so suddenly, he explained that at home he had been bored and lonely, and smoking was simply a way to pass the time. At Heart of Mary House, he said, he was no longer bored—and no longer searching for ways to fill the time. It was incredible!
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The high school students who volunteered at the house adored him. He quickly became a favorite among them. It wasn’t unusual to see students sitting on the floor in his room, listening to him—or more often, being listened to by him.
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Listening was another of Chuck’s gifts. His humility made him a truly attentive and compassionate listener. People were drawn to him because of how he made them feel. In his presence, you felt seen. You felt heard. That kind of connection is rare.
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Like so many of our residents, Chuck became family to us. And yet, at the house, there is no formal bereavement leave when a resident passes. Instead, there is a quiet and beautiful exchange of support among volunteers, staff, hospice team members, and family, when they are present. We also find healing in the gifts of our faith and in the hope of eternal life. There is a deep peace in knowing that caring for Chuck—and being known by him—was a gift from God. One aspect of this ministry that never gets old is being able to witness how thin the veil between heaven earth really is.
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It was a great blessing to be with his family in his final hours. They were able to travel to be with him, and I am so grateful for that time. I loved seeing the photos they shared, hearing their stories, and listening to the love in their voices as they spoke so highly of him.
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Please know this is only my perspective on Chuck’s time at Heart of Mary House. There are countless other stories and reflections from the many volunteers and individuals whose lives he touched.
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Chuck also had a deep desire to help us with the video presentation for our fundraiser dinner in November. At the time, he wasn’t feeling well. His mother had just passed away, and he was grieving deeply, especially because he had been unable to attend her funeral. Still, it was very important to him to do what he could to support the Heart of Mary House. Through his weakened voice, and with the steady hum of the oxygen concentrator in the background, he shared a beautiful and moving testimony about the house.
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Chuck is just one of many whom the Lord has placed in our path, and there will be countless more who follow. In fact, we are welcoming a new resident today! Each resident has a story—a life lived before coming to the house. Many of those chapters we may never fully know, but the story of how they arrive at Heart of Mary House, and the transformation that takes place while they are in our care, is something I hope to always remember.
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Sharing these stories with you is also healing for me. But more than anything, I want your main takeaway to be this: because of the prayers, time, and generosity of our community, Chuck did not die alone. Because of you, he died feeling safe, loved, and at peace.
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We are delighted and grateful to have received another resident. We understand the gravity of this responsibility and are humbled to walk by his side. We ask for your prayers and your help. We need both! Our home is full, yet the need never seems to end. Please help us fulfill our mission and ensure that no one dies alone or discarded at the end of their life.
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"I’m so convinced that if we open our lives and our hearts to serve others,
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we indeed, like the Gospel says, receive a hundredfold, in this life."
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